Alphabet Advice by Dane Kittock

Accept difficulties     Be Courageous     Care for everyone     Devote yourself to your passion     Evaluate your circumstance     Fix broken hearts     Go     Help others     Insist on changing    
Join the underdogs every now and then     Keep your head high     Love!
Man up     Never give up     Open your heart to someone     Please others (not yourself) often
Quit? No!     Rely on no one     Stay focused     Train yourself     Use the thing in your head!
Violence isn't always the best solution     Why?     Xcercise     Yellow is a terrible color
Zoinks is an awesome exclamation

"Untitled" by Dane Kittock

The costume I chose for Mardi Gras is a very special costume.  Very special indeed.  For to get this costume, I had to travel to the Amazon river in search of the infamous Green Anaconda.  My river guide took me deep into the heart of the jungle before we even spotted one, let alone caught it.  After a couple of hot, humid, sweaty hours of searching, we found it.  The perfect-sized snake, somewhere in between 5 and 6 feet in length.  I was immediately upon it, striking the back of its head with a rock.  I skinned it then and there, and caught the next flight home.

These snakes are so large, you can wrap them around a full-sized man as if he is being swallowed alive.  That is what my costume is.  The head is engulfing mine, its eyes are my eye holes.  Then the rest of the body is coiling around my own.  Ta da.

"Their perspective" by Dane Kittock

Artist: Rembrandt van Rijn


I don't like March.
It makes my spinal column arch.
It's too cold and windy
For my aunt Cindy.

I like the weather nice 'n' hot
Whether you do or not.
The only upside to the weather
Is the bounty of young lambs for supper.


I love the month of March!
It makes my wool feel useful
After all the warm weather of the summer.
The only downside I have,
Is the countless lions and lionesses
Prowling the dark.

"Costumed Mystery" by Alicia Judd

I walk downtown, my black wallet in hand.  I've been invited to a Mardi Gras costume party, and now I need to find a costume.  Mardi Gras is tomorrow, and all the good costumes are taken.  As long as I don't end up in a chicken suit, I don't really care what I get.  I head down a side street, to a large speciality costume shop.  For some reason, before I get there, I turn down a dark alley and onto a small dim street.  It is rather creepy, but, oh well.  I notice a door across from me and I walk in.


My voice echoes through the small shop.

"You don't need to shout."  I jump and swivel around.  An old man, bent with age, stands hunched over an elaborately carved cane.  "What do you need?  I s'pose you want a costume?"

My voice catches in my throat, and I barely manage a small nod, accompanied by a squeak.  The old man totters into a back room and returns with three packages.  The first is a bright blue and yellow frilly dress, covered in bows.  The mask is beaded and looks like a butterfly.  The second dress is brown, and looks like faux fur.  It is accompanied by a small, eyeglass-like mask.

Finally, he takes out a black, slim dress.  Along with it is a shimmery feathered black cape.  The mask looks like bird wings.  I know which one I want.

"The Lion, The Lamb" by Alicia Judd

Artist: William Blake


March.  A terrible month.
The rain!  Oh, the horrible rain.
My prey hides, my tummy feels pain.
My vision, obscured
Yet I am undeterred.
Then comes April, the dreaded April.
For they say
April showers bring May flowers.


March! How fun!
It's great to have a run
in the rain
I feel no pain
Flowers after showers!
Flowers?! Yum!